Lost in Christ:

Proverbs 18:10 The name of the LORD is a strong tower;
the righteous run to it and are safe.

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man should have to seek Him first to find her." Maya Angelou

For the last few years, I have tried to state how I felt about possibly remarrying someday. Being single has been very rewarding for me because I am learning about myself; not only who I am, but Whose I am. Maya Angelou has nailed it! My heart is precious to God. He wants the very best for me. And, He wants the very best for all of us.

It is a woman's desire to feel protected and safe. If our hearts are hidden in Christ then that is the safest place to be. He is: my strong tower (Psalm 61:3, Proverbs 18:10,), a strong arm (Song of Solomon 8:6), and a strong fortress (Psalm 18:2, 31:2, 144:2). It will take a man strong in his faith to seek for a woman strong in the Lord. God's desire is for us to have the longings of our heart, and if our desires are rooted and grounded in God, then get ready, He will meet those desires according to His divine plan for your life.

It is in our impatience that we began to settle for less than His best for us. Whatever your station in life...single or single-again...if you will live Isaiah 40:31 and wait, just wait, He will give you gold instead of bronze, diamonds instead of crystal, and the best instead of good.

*Edited and transferred

Single Life and Family

Recently, I have had the joy of getting closer to one of my dad's brothers. He stops by fairly often and I always enjoy the visit, how ever brief it might be. This has me reflecting on my family. I have been blessed with two families that are close. As I think back on my childhood, I have very fond memories of my cousins, aunts, and uncles! Now that I'm older and all of my cousins have families of their own now, it is much more difficult for us to visit regularly. In fact, if we see each other one time a year, we are fortunate.

Being single with an empty nest is very lonely at times. The prospect of remaining single for some is not even an option and for others, it may be the only option. But, my advice to all the single folks out there is to "Carpe Diem!" Live life wide open! Reconnect with family! There will never be a better time than right now to rebuild those close ties to the ones who love you and know you.

Time investment in family will one day be the most important thing you have ever done. From an eternal point of view, your investment may be the difference between heaven and hell for someone. So live your life worthy of the calling of Christ and in the process show others what it really means to "Carpe Diem!"

Psalm 143

Tug-of-war was one of my favorite school yard games as a child. I considered myself to have superhuman strength and apparently, for a girl, I was very strong. I was either the captain, or I was first pick. What was child's play has become a spiritual situation I have known all too well, just as David understood!

I thank God that He recorded David's life. In David's life, I am shown how real "life" problems and circumstances are not new to us, but more importantly they are not new to God. I have battled fear and depression as did David. As I read this Psalm, I recognized the beauty of David's language as he called out to his Lord for help while showing his humanness.

David understood from his heart that God was his source of help. It did not take away his depression, but he continually called out to God. He even lost hope. He said, "I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear" Psalm 143:4. If you have been paralyzed in your spirit, you know the deep despair you are left with to struggle against. Being paralyzed physically has taught me the struggle of imprisonment. I am in a prison of my body. I cannot break free of my physical limitations, but I thank God that my body is not "who" I am. The physical bondage has given me great insight into the very real emotional and spiritual bondage we face in our anger, depression, and hopelessness.

Let our prayer be that of David's, "8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go for to you I lift up my soul. 12 In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant." (Psalm 143:8, 12).


**Edited and transferred

Fine China or Cheap Ceramics

If I were having to describe myself in these terms, I'm definitely cheap ceramics. I had a ceramic shop once upon a time not long after I became a quadriplegic. I understand the process of taking "slip" (watered down clay) and turning it into a beautiful vase or eagle figurine by using preformed molds. It is a process. The shaped or molded clay must dry. The seams, ridges, and imperfections must be smoothed using sharp tools. The fragile figure could be easily damaged if placed in the wrong hands. I know this well. I delegated the "cleaning" of the different figures to others with steady hands. Being a quadriplegic, I do not have fine motor skills in my hands. I can paint. I can paint intricate details on faces of ceramics, but that is only after the clay figure has gone through the kiln.

The kiln is a special oven that reaches ridiculously high heat. It is the extreme heat (2200-2300 degrees) that causes the formed clay to harden to the bisque stage. Once the ceramics are "fired", they must not be taken out of the heat too soon or it can damage the integrity of the piece. You may be in the fire, but trust God to leave you there long enough to perfect your character to look like His. I know it is uncomfortable, but "For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow" James 1:3. I know that I am healed, but for now, I'm still riding around in my wheelchair. God, in His wisdom, has not removed me from the fire...and so, my faith and endurance are growing.

The imperfections in His creation are not from God's mistake or His negligence, but rather from the dawn of man. Adam and Eve brought on the imperfection, but God in His mercy and love for us will not leave us that way. Because of the Cross, He places us back on the potter's wheel. As a result of the Cross, I am fine china.

Small Town

Recently, a friend of mine reminded me how vividly she remembers the day my family and I were in the wreck back in 1993. She is definitely someone I believe when she says she prayed for us. This reminded me about a lady I met this past November (2009). She knew me by name, because she prayed for us. This lady, who I had never met and quite honestly, don't know that I ever even heard of her, came right up to me and said, "Hello, my name is _______, and I was a member of your Aunt Brenda's choir when you all were in your wreck, and I have prayed for you and your family." WOW! Now that was awesome!

Being from a small town, like Oak Grove, LA, has it's advantages. I guess you would say from a worldly perspective, I was a fairly popular person in my little town and being married to a guy that played professional football only magnified the fact that many people knew us. When word spread that we had been in an automobile accident and I was paralyzed and not sure I was going to live, well...the Lord was busy fielding prayers out of Oak Grove! I'm sure every prayer chain in every denomination exploded into spontaneous prayer! How awesome is that?

I don't know how people make it that are from cities that have no support structure. I truly don't. I shudder to think of the homeless that have only what will fit into a small bag. (And just so you know, friends are few and far between for those of us in day to day society, never mind those who are on the street. They have and trust NO ONE). For whatever reason they have no family support. Man, I am so thankful for my family! I am blessed with two sides of family that are close and I know we matter to each other. When one hurts, we all hurt. Not so for the homeless or the one that has striven for anonymity and melted into a sea of faces in the large city!

Something that concerns me a bit about our society is that we strive for anonymity by hiding behind a computer screen. Sure there is Facebook* and Myspace* and social networks like that, but even they are pseudosocial clubs. It doesn't take much effort to post a few words here and there to old friends, but what about real tactile interaction? You know where you share a part of yourself with someone by giving up your time. We may as well be living in the crowded streets of a megalopolis when we recluse ourselves to a computer. Please understand, I am all about the social networks, because some really good things have come from them; but I don't want my interactions with people to be limited to that kind of relationship. There. I'm off my soapbox.

I have recently made a new friend and he is very relational. He is "good people". He lives the principle that people are more important than anything else in this world. He is a real friend and I have grown to love and trust him. Small town people have that quality almost built in. Thanks for being a real friend, Todd. The friend that reminded me about my small town, well she has been with me through some very dark places. No, we do not talk on a daily basis, nor weekly, nor monthly, but if she found out that something bad happened to me, she would be there to encourage me and pray with me.

Thanks Shea for reminding me to be that friend to those I grew up with in Oak Grove! I may have moved away, but I can still be the friend I should be. Thank you for your example! (And go Tigers! That's small town pride for those of you who do not "get it"!)

"Whatever It Takes Lord"

The road to April 8, 1993, actually started on Sunday March 14, 1993. My marriage was in trouble at the time and our definition of "fixing" our problems was to "get back into church." Isn't that just like us humans to think that we can "go" somewhere to fix a problem that does not exist in the natural realm. The only place we really need to go to is our knees and stay there until we "limp." I was guilty of it then and I'm guilty of it to this day. Maybe not as juvenile as I once was, but guilty nonetheless.

So, the story is, we started back to church! That's southern for attending church services. Either way you say it, it is sterile. No room for real growth in just going back to church. But wait! Don't let me lose you just yet! No, going back to church never "fixed" my marriage (we divorced ten years later), but it did plant a seed that began growing that very Sunday!

My pastor preached a sermon from John 21:15-17. Jesus asks Peter three times about his love for Him. The first two times, Jesus asks Peter if he agapao Him and Peter responded that he phileo Him. The third time Jesus asked Peter if he phileo Him and Peter responded that Jesus knew all things and that yes he phileo Him. Jesus knew the state of Peter's heart and he knows the state of ours. My pastor asked the congregation three times if we loved the Lord. By the third time, my pious self was wondering, too. He challenged us to pray everyday that God teach us how to truly love Him. We needed to desire to be taught how to love Him enough to say. "Whatever it takes Lord, teach me to truly love You."

Well, I mentioned before that we were commuting to Monroe from Oak Grove for school and work and that's when I read my Bible and prayed. I began that Sunday night asking God to teach me how to truly love Him. I prayed that everyday and I meant it. I said, "Whatever it takes!". God knew Peter's heart and He knows mine, too. My heart suffers from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder! He knew what it would take to slow me down and get my focus. Some of us are a little more ADHD than others, but all of His children have it. If you are that child that is running to and fro without direction...well, let's just say...He will get your attention one way or another. He does that BECAUSE He loves us, not to punish us. I know that my life would never have been as fulfilling as it is had He not answered my prayer for help. He has taught me many, many things about His love for me and my ability to love Him. So, as it were, I am sitting in my "Whatever it takes."

The Switch Was Flipped "On"

The next three or four days was riddled with fever, pain, family, friends, visitors, and a new way of life. Initially, the most disturbing problem was fever. When people see someone in a wheelchair, the most obvious observation is "They can't walk!", but that is really the least of the difficulties, I learned quickly. Bowel management, bladder management, and a host of other things the spinal cord regulates becomes the most urgent problems.

The next week I was treated for an infection because my temperature would not go down and since my temp wouldn't go down, they wouldn't move me to the rehab hospital attached to University hospital. I had the doctors reeling as to where the infection must be. After days of antibiotics and me burning up, we discovered my thermostat in the room was broken and the room temperature was staying up causing my temp to stay up. Apparently, the spinal cord regulates your body's temperature control and ability to sweat, so since the room was hot...so was I. I begged and pleaded to be moved and FINALLY, after blood, "sweat", and tears, they did! That was April the 8th.

April the 8th is not only my dad's birthday, but a birthday of sorts for me, as well. I was lying in the rehab hospital room moving nothing more than my eyes. I wasn't moving them much, because of a migraine, but I was thankful to be in the rehab so I could "start walking"! It had not totally set in just how severe the injury to my cord had been.

Over the course of that week, I received so many cards and letters with words of encouragement. By this time, my brother Kevin, had returned to Raleigh, NC and was sending his own cards and words of encouragement. He and his then fiance, Marsha (now his wife), sent me a card that God used to turn the "lights on" for me. The two scriptures that I experienced as flesh and blood that day were Isaiah 40:31 and Philippians 4:13. You know John 1:14 says that the Word became flesh and dwelt among us. I believe that those two scriptures were just that tangible that day. Everything changed at 2:30 in the afternoon on April 8, 1993. Everything! You see, when I was 15 years old, I come to know who God was through Jesus Christ, but April 8, 1993, I come to KNOW Whose I was. There is a difference. I was healed that day from a severed spinal cord, sure, but more importantly, God became intimate to me. I knew Him. I became my Beloved's. I was secure for the first time in my life.

I was saved by grace when I was young, but had never really "walked" in the power of The Resurrected God. I received something that day that has never been too far from me since, and that is His power. Have I had my share of weaknesses? Oh yeah! Have I struggled with things I said I would NEVER struggle with again? Ah, yeah! But do I still have that same power available to me? Definitely! And I can say, that the prayers that were lifted up for me and my family during those so very dark days, illuminated a new way to live life...in the Light!