"Whatever It Takes Lord"

The road to April 8, 1993, actually started on Sunday March 14, 1993. My marriage was in trouble at the time and our definition of "fixing" our problems was to "get back into church." Isn't that just like us humans to think that we can "go" somewhere to fix a problem that does not exist in the natural realm. The only place we really need to go to is our knees and stay there until we "limp." I was guilty of it then and I'm guilty of it to this day. Maybe not as juvenile as I once was, but guilty nonetheless.

So, the story is, we started back to church! That's southern for attending church services. Either way you say it, it is sterile. No room for real growth in just going back to church. But wait! Don't let me lose you just yet! No, going back to church never "fixed" my marriage (we divorced ten years later), but it did plant a seed that began growing that very Sunday!

My pastor preached a sermon from John 21:15-17. Jesus asks Peter three times about his love for Him. The first two times, Jesus asks Peter if he agapao Him and Peter responded that he phileo Him. The third time Jesus asked Peter if he phileo Him and Peter responded that Jesus knew all things and that yes he phileo Him. Jesus knew the state of Peter's heart and he knows the state of ours. My pastor asked the congregation three times if we loved the Lord. By the third time, my pious self was wondering, too. He challenged us to pray everyday that God teach us how to truly love Him. We needed to desire to be taught how to love Him enough to say. "Whatever it takes Lord, teach me to truly love You."

Well, I mentioned before that we were commuting to Monroe from Oak Grove for school and work and that's when I read my Bible and prayed. I began that Sunday night asking God to teach me how to truly love Him. I prayed that everyday and I meant it. I said, "Whatever it takes!". God knew Peter's heart and He knows mine, too. My heart suffers from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder! He knew what it would take to slow me down and get my focus. Some of us are a little more ADHD than others, but all of His children have it. If you are that child that is running to and fro without direction...well, let's just say...He will get your attention one way or another. He does that BECAUSE He loves us, not to punish us. I know that my life would never have been as fulfilling as it is had He not answered my prayer for help. He has taught me many, many things about His love for me and my ability to love Him. So, as it were, I am sitting in my "Whatever it takes."