Bullies

1 Samuel 1:6 So Peninnah would taunt Hannah and make fun of her because the Lord had kept her from having children.7 Year after year it was the same—Peninnah would taunt Hannah as they went to the Tabernacle. Each time, Hannah would be reduced to tears and would not even eat.
1 Sam 1:6-7 (NLT)

When I was a young girl, I was not very "girlie". I prided myself in being as rough and tough as the boys in my class. In fact, I was rougher than most of them and the problem with that is that I knew I could outdo them. Power is a dangerous thing, even at the age of 8 or 9 years old. I recall one boy particularly smaller and weaker. As I think back on him now, I see a kind, sweet-spirited little boy who was taught to be polite and kind by his parents. When I was a child, I saw an easy target to unleash my wounded spirit.

Children, suffering from abuse by someone they are powerless to, will, in turn, spew venomous anger in the form of abuse on those weaker than themselves. This is a Polaroid snapshot of one facet of my life and a subject I am too well familiar. You've heard it said that kids can be cruel, well I was "that" cruel kid, that is until the subject of my wrath's Mother caught me.

My elementary school was in a VERY small community and had a Mom and Pop grocery store right next door to it. After school, all the children would ride the bus home, regardless of how far you lived from school! When there were after-school activities, we could walk across the dirt road to get a snack (if we had a note from our parents). I have such warm feelings when I think back to that little country store. The owners were a precious older couple and they knew who we were (and our parents and our parents' parents!). They had "tickets". It was a store credit for farmers, mostly, to buy fuel, lunch, etc. and the family could buy a few groceries. The Carroll's had the store back when I was in elementary school. They knew I was Clarence and Odies' granddaughter and so if I came in without money...I guess I felt like "somebody" when I said "put it on the ticket" and they didn't even have to ask my name! Those were the days.

One afternoon, several of us were hanging out in the front of the store waiting for everyone to finish up when I looked up and my "bullseye" is walking over from a house across the main road! There I was. I had just had myself puffed-up as someone privileged because I charged food to my parents' bill AND all my peers were there looking up to me. I began blocking his entrance to the store. There were enough kids between the two of us and the door that the owners couldn't see what I was doing, but his mother could! The thing is...I didn't know his mother could see what I was doing and I wasn't aware of her until she stood behind him. He was crying by the time his mom got to him, so the embarrassment for him was already huge. When his mom was finished with me, my face burned with embarrassment! She taught me a lesson that day, one that has stayed with me to this day.

I learned to respect my peers more. I empathized with this guy that day after his mother helped me see the error of my ways. That day shaped me to be an empathizer rather than an abuser. The school of thought that the abused become the abusers has some credibility, that is unless someone intervenes. I was fortunate that someone intervened very early in my life.

Our feelings of inferiority can be projected onto us by our peers. Just like Peninnah was a member of the "haves" and Hannah the "have-nots", we as singles can see ourselves like Hannah. Sometimes, we bring those feelings onto ourselves. We compare ourselves to the people around us that have fulfilling marriages. In the words of Paul Harvey "And now for the rest of the story", 1 Samuel 1:19 tells us that the Lord "remembered" Hannah. The Lord has not forgotten you either. If it is your heart's desire to have a fulfilling marriage, He will meet those needs for you. Stay strong in your faith and trust that God has your future firmly sealed.

Our God is just. He has a way of leveling the playing field for us, but it is in His time. Just as that mother came and answered the taunting I was dishing out, God will step into your circumstance and meet your deepest needs if you are asking in line with His will! The enemy of our souls will constantly try to bully you by reminding you of the things you do not have as a single person. Dear brothers and sisters, embrace your stage in life with the exuberance God deserves! Indulge yourselves in the presence of the Lord and you will find the peace that comes when God closes the mouth of your "bully"!