Show and Tell

I wrote this a few months back, but figured someone could identify...


We all have one. We ultimately want to show it or tell it. The problem is what we show and what we tell may not match up with the truth.

We want to appear "all together." I'm here to tell you that I DO NOT have it all together. In fact, I'm a bloody mess on the inside, a ball of pent up emotion and pain. Can you feel me?

I have recently been trying to finish school by writing my infernal thesis, but I want to write "other stuff," and so I write nothing. About two weeks ago I was mowing on my Grasshopper and praying about writing and I had a sense of "just write!" Much easier said than done, but much of life's instructions are.

So, here I am writing in a "Blog." Really? A blog? But, it's a start I suppose! So, here goes...

Enjoy the Journey*
My favorite Christian artist wrote this song about ten years ago for someone else, but she is sure it was for herself now. Well, I can tell you, I haven't been enjoying my journey lately. Between school, health, family, and relationships, I feel empty. I mean, don't get me wrong...I have made some great friends over the past couple of years, I love my family, school has been rewarding and my health is on the mend, but something is missing. I am truly thankful for my relationship with Christ and it is when my attention is pulled away, even for a moment, that I start seeing the gaps in my life.

Gaps
Wow, what a neat word; gap. The missing part of a bridge is a gap. There are "cattle gaps" which are missing parts of the road with bars over them so cows can't escape a pasture. Gaps are all around me, but when I sense that there is a gap in my heart, I have to question what my focus is on...the "gap" or the parts on either side? If I look at the gap too long then the chasm gets bigger and bigger! The thing I must remind myself, is that God bridged the gap through Christ and focus on Him. He will become the bridge and the absence I feel, He will fill. God is faithful even when I'm not, because I am His child!

Enjoy the Journey...
Well, to say the least, I haven't been enjoying my journey. I'm on one, we're all on one. I haven't been enjoying the journey, because I'm focusing on who is or is not on the road with me. Some roads we just have to walk "seemingly" alone. I know I'm not alone, but the distance between my heart and head may as well be 10,000 miles. I see the road ahead, somewhat, and it looks rather lonely because of my focus and so...

The Gap...
I'll let the Lord be my bridge and He will fill it how He deems best. I must remain with my hand out stetched to His.

*Enjoy the Journey by Naomi Carroll ( www.naomicarroll.com )