Why do we get offended at labels? Recently, I was speaking with a friend about a group of single adults at my church and how they do not like to be called "single". I find that odd and a little funny.
Conversations:
"Are they married?"... "No, they are in college age group."... "Yeah, but are they married?"... "No."... "Then, they are single."..."No, they are in the college age group!" (Huh?)
Then, there's that group that are widowed..."Are you single?"..."No, I'm widowed."... "Are you remarried?"..."No, I said I was widowed!" *Double-take*
Do we even have to discuss those that are divorced? Many of them are right back in marriage as soon as the gavel falls and the ink is still damp from divorce papers. I bet some sign the divorce papers and marriage license with the same pen! The divorced scream "I'M SINGLE!!!" They typically want to be married again so badly that they fall for the first person promising some attention (finger pointing in my direction).
So that brings me to that next ambiguous group...the "separated"... "Are you married?"..."No, I'm separated." "So you're divorced?"... "Well, not yet."..."Then, you're married."..."No, I said I was separated!" Until there is a divorce, there is a marriage!
Is being single a sin? drug? bad-habit? curse? plague? No, but we sure treat it as such. I remembered when I was married and I would see single people serving the Lord. I would think, "If I were single, I could do so much more for the Lord..." Crazy thinking, right? Well, I got my wish. I'm single and I do have much time that I can serve the Lord. Notice, I said "much", but not necessarily more. It's a mindset really. I can serve the Lord married or single. The point is...SERVE THE LORD! If we would stop craining our necks through the fence to see how the grass tasted on the otherside of the barbed-wire, we may just find satisfaction serving God with whatever label we are wearing.
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A cousin who didn't marry until the ripe old age of 28 (I was almost 35!) used to say that until she was content single, she couldn't be content married. And when God could use her more with a partner, He'd bring her one. Good advice.
ReplyDeleteLove Him, serve Him and obey Him here. Now. That's all we really have. Good reminder, Lori.
Great post, Lori! I love your transparency and perspective. You have quite a gift. I'm signing up to be follower!
ReplyDeleteAs someone who's still single at thirty-nine---single to the point that I've never been in a relationship at all (no boyfriends, never been asked out)---there are a lot of questions, a lot of looks, a lot of stigma that come my way because of my single status. And some of that even comes from family.
ReplyDeleteThe saddest thing for me is that people, especially Christians, view me as somehow incomplete, flawed, un-whole as a person because I'm not married. I'm not seen as a "responsible" adult or as someone with wisdom and experience because I've never been married. But I am seen as someone who can/should to a lot of work at the church because, after all, I'm not married, ergo I have a lot of time on my hands to do all the stuff none of the married people want to do. Right?
Thanks for starting this blog. I look forward to reading it!